We Need to Talk About Why It is Harder to Make New Friends as an Adult
Whether you have just become more socially awkward over the years, or maybe your social battery just drains faster and faster, or anything in-between. Making new friends in your adult years becomes harder and harder.
Of course, here in MichiganCowo, when the weather gets cold, the roads ice over and snow outside makes you feel like you would rather just bundle up at home and avoid any kind of going out and interacting with people.
We're Just So Busy
As we get older, get into our careers, people have children, we have familial engagements, other social engagements with old friends, etc.
It's a lot and who has the time within all of that, plus our day-to-day obligations, to really try to cultivate a new friendship?
It was easier when we were younger because you were in school, you saw the same people every day, you had no choice but to make conversation and over time developed a connection. It was effortless.
Now, even just getting to the point of going out and trying to have that same kind of relationship with someone seems almost like a "chore."
Other Friends You May Have
Of course, as we mention school as being a good way to cultivate friendships, I guess you could look at relationships with your coworkers in a similar way.
However, while it is so wonderful having good relationships with your coworkers during and outside of work and it makes working a lot easier, it is also one of those things where you kind of spend enough time with them during the week to devote your free time to them as well.
It's not that you don't love them, and it is one of those times where you feel like someone completely "gets it" when it comes time to vent or you need a shoulder to cry on.
However, often the topics of conversation are work, and who wants to always feel like you're in "work mode"?
We Get Pickier About Who We Spend Our Time With
Let's be honest, we get smarter as we get older and we also know better to see through the facades new people try to put out, we're more set in our ways, we're more sure of what and who we like to spend time with and we also know exactly the types of people we like to avoid.
It's not that we don't know HOW to make new friends anymore, it's just a challenge trying to figure out who is really worth all the effort and extra time and often, it's not worth it.
Some people just know how to suck the energy out of you or out of a room completely...and nobody wants to try to strike up a new friendship with them.
Of course, too, we also already have friends that we have had that relationship with for years, sometimes even decades, and we are comfortable with that. However, while we LOVE those friends, they are just as busy as you are and sometimes it gets a bit lonely.
At The End of the Day, It's All About Your Comfort
If you are comfortable with where you are at as far as your circle of friends goes, then you're good! I am also one of those people that believes in "quality over quantity."
However, if you are comfortable going out and mingling and have the time and energy to devote to getting to know people, get out and mingle, you social butterfly!
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