Turns out, we weren't ready for the Belle Isle Slide to reopen.

Buzz was big, because those who remember growing up with the big slide recall the excitement of flying down the slide at "lightning speed." But it turns out, "lightning" hurts... who knew.

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Mere hours after the giant metal slide reopened, Belle Isle was closing it down again to make adjustments, because... well, as you can see form the various TikToks below... they weren't ready for THAT kind of ride.
(WARNING: Some "strong language" ahead as you watch children LITERALLY fly off of this thing!)

 

@mltngn2 The Big Slide at Belle Isle opened yesterday! Rite of passage for Detroit kids 😬 Yikes! #belleisledetroit #belleisleslide #detroit #ouch #belleisle #summer ♬ original sound - Mltngn2

 

@jaythelongway Detroit reopened the Giant slide , somebody call the police 😂😂😂😂😂 (Belle Isle) #detroit #detroitbelleisle #detroitfunniest #dontmakenosense #helpmeplease #savethekiddos ♬ original sound - FoxBody

 

@__big.shank The Re Grand Opening Of The Giant Slide On Belle Isle Was A Disaster 😂#detroit #giantslide #belleisle #funnyvideos #OLAFLEX #DoritosDareToBeBurned #fyp ♬ original sound - The Ghetto Rose 🌹

"It look like it's alright" indeed sir.

But indeed, it was not. I mean, did you SEE those kids? The last time I flew that high, I was either purposefully jumping off a ramp on my Huffy, or taking off in a LITERAL airplane.

Credit to those children, though, they came through alright. They all went in kids, and by the time they hit the bottom, they were adults... and probably concust.

Thankfully, Belle Isle did the merciful thing, and shut down the slide after a few hours to "make adjustments," though, I'm not sure what "adjustments" you can make to a large, metal slide.

Nonetheless, they're doing the right thing, because... while these videos are INSANELY entertaining to watch now, I can't help but hear the "Jackass" theme song quietly in the back of my head.

"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is the Belle Isle Slide!"

UPDATE: They did actually re-open the slide, but not until AFTER a proper How-To" video was made that will almost certainly (but probably not) help.  

@siccc.v6 Belle Isle, Michigan shut down its giant slide 4 hours after the grand re-opening due to injuries, it has since re-re-opened the following day with a How-To video & video from yesterdays incident😂 #fypp #foryou #belleisle #michigan #viral #giantslide ♬ original sound - Lo

Vintage Belle Isle Photos, Early 1900s

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