Winter Olympic Events Only Possible In Kalamazoo
With the Winter Olympics underway, I started thinking about what Olympic events would only be possible in Kalamazoo. There is, of course, a tremendous amount of sports science statistics and analytics that went in to a study like this...I'm kidding... a lot of alcohol went into a study like this. So, for a moment, let's put ourselves smack dab in the middle of the Olympic movement; OK movement probably not the best choice of words.
Here they are, the 5 Winter Olympic Only Possible Kalamazoo...
1. Beering. It could also be called Curling because Beering is simply doing 12 ounce curls with your beer. So, Beering because Curling is already taken.
2. Drake Road Uphill. We've got the Downhill in the other Olympics. The Drake Rd Uphill is a competition to see if you can make it up the hill from Parkview to Stadium in a ferocious snow storm. A few years ago I couldn't.
3. Beerathlon. This is similar to the Biathlon but without the skiing and shooting. It's a timed event to see how fast you can go to each downtown brewery, get a beer and drink it.
4. Snowplow Mailbox Repair. This is another timed event to see how fast you can reconstruct your mailbox after its violently taken out by a snowplow.
5. Downtown One-Way Street Slalom. Much like the slalom ski racing you've got to know how to navigate around other cars like gates to get into the right position to reach your destination in as little time as possible.